I dunno if this one is taught anywhere (it probably is, I just haven't been in a 'church' in AGES) but something pretty funny happened to me a couple of weeks ago at a bible study.
We were asked (by some guy on the television) to write a letter to the person who helped us become saved, the person who witnessed to us.
I explained that I had no such person. Jesus has been with me all my life, pretty much, so nobody ever had to 'convert' me from being a nonbeliever. There was a time in my early teens in which I was presented with other options and I decided to stick with Jesus, but no "defining moment" in which I came to Jesus and he changed my life.
At hearing this, the leader of our bible study began to look worried. He asked me very politely if he could ask me some hard questions. I told him certainly, and he then quoted a verse:
Romans10:9 wrote:"If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved."
He then asked very seriously if I had ever done that.
I was thoroughly confused by his question and tone. I have to go through a checklist to be saved, seriously? If I have never said some collection of words I'm seriously not going to Heaven, on a technicality? "Sorry, can't let you up here! It says here you never prayed to receive God's grace! Down you go!"
I was so confused that he had even asked me that I just said I had "
probably done something like that through the course of my years, but if I have, I don't remember."
He accepted this and went on with the lesson.
My other least favorite church teaching is that you have to attend a weekly church worship service in order to be saved. Or at least that you have to attend a weekly church worship service in order to be a "good Christian".
"I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it." -Groucho Marx