For a bit of fun I thought I'd try to put together some of the absolute worst 'Christian' teachings I've had preached at me over the years.

1) God wants you ill for a purpose.
Totally non Biblical for New Covenant believers, has been responsible for much suffering and premature death.

2) Cessationism. All the gifts stopped with the death of the apostles when the Bible was written.
Clearly utter rubbish. Still much taught. Leaves adherents claiming miracles today either don't happen or are the work of the devil.

3) Legalism.
The belief that Jesus' righteousness isn't enough to stand on for answers to prayer. That we have to be perfect to get answers. Ties people up in knots and causes frustration. Many end up leaving the faith. Others end up receiving nothing from God as they strive in vain to become 'worthy' under their own efforts.

4) Everything that happens is the sovereign will of God.
Appallingly bad teaching that tries to blame God for every bad thing that happens. Effectively turns God into a serial killing unpredictable bad tempered ogre !

5) Be afraid of the devil.
A masterpiece of satanic deception. Has Christians going round in circles trying to achieve what Jesus already did. Not surprisingly produces NO fruit whatsoever. Prevents Christians knowing that what Jesus did on the cross raises them up above the devil in a position of authority over him.

6) You need more faith but no one can tell you what to have more faith in.
This is the equivalent of producing an infinite loop in a computer program !

7) What I call the 'Pink Floyd' doctrine after one of their lyrics - 'Shown how to feel good and told to feel bad !'
Linked to Legalism this teaches that although we're forgiven, we act as if we don't believe it and keep ourselves in a place of shame to persuade God to answer us. Doesn't work !

8) Generational curses.
Unless your an old testament Jew caught in serious idolatry it doesn't apply. But if you want to spend days, weeks, and months trying to break a curse that doesn't exist I'm sure satan will be only too pleased you've fallen for this one ! Oh and praying for demonic powers to be broken instead of casting demons out of people will also do nicely !

Here are a couple of my favorite "cop out" theologies:

1. "The devil is more powerful than you are, so don't mess with him." If Jesus has all power, that doesn't leave any for the devil.

2. "You should spend inordinate amounts of time praying that God will change the world and going to great lengths to make yourself holy". The reality is God made you holy, and it's your job to change the world by preaching, healing, casting out demons, etc.

3. "God picks special people and puts affliction on them to set a good example for people around them." Wow...sign me up for that. If i treated my children this way I would be offered new accommodations in the local prison for child abuse.

4. "God gets glory when faithful believers bound up in sickness and crippling disease remain faithful to him and continue to serve him." I say he gets more glory when those people get out of the bed or wheelchair.

5. "God uses sickness, disease, and crippling accidents to teach us things like patience and compassion." The bible says the Holy Spirit will lead us into all truth, not some sickness from the devil. If God puts sickness on people, then Jesus went around undoing much of the Father's hard work as he healed people. Hebrews 1 tells us Jesus is the express image of the nature of God, and Jesus never put sickness on people.

1) Everything that happens is God's will and He foreordained it to happen before the foundation of the world for His own glory and His own "good". Even when a pervert rapes and kills a little girl, God ordained it for the common good. (!?)

2) I know this one might rub people the wrong way, but for 2000 years now every single generation of well-intentioned and sincere Christians have said that Jesus is coming in their generation because "just look at the signs". Our generation is no different. For a book that just documents these facts and doesn't try to teach you anything at all, read Francis X. Gumerlock's book The Day and the Hour. In that book it just lists all the history from the 1st century AD to the present of all the well-meaning Christians who thought Jesus was coming in their day and wrote about it. The reason this concerns me is because I think this motivates Christians in either of two main directions: It either makes them in a hurry to get as many saved as possible (thus not properly planning for long term discipleship), or it makes them think why polish brass on a sinking ship and they then don't get involved with government, etc. because "after all, we're gonna be outta here before I die anyways" I have a friend, who didn't go back to college and finish his degree because he got saved and thought Jesus would be back before he would be able to finish! This affected his whole career!

3) The world will continue to get worse and worse; i.e. the Great Commission will fail and Jesus will have to come back and fix it all anyways.

4) Your sickness may be a thorn in the flesh, like Paul's and God told Paul "No, I won't heal you! Going to heaven is good enough for you!"

5) Your sickness may be like Job's, long and painful with no hope... but, once again, going to heaven when you die is good enough for you.

6) We should praise God for every single thing. Even our sicknesses! Even our tragedies! Yes, even the death of loved ones! (Believe it or not I've heard this preached).

7) God only heals spiritual sickness now.

8) Jesus ONLY healed to prove He was the Son of God. There is therefore now no need for Him to do so. Why? Because the resurrection and the Bible is good enough for you.

9) Only the apostles had the power to heal. That power does not work today.

10) Getting others healed is a gift not given to every Christian, just a few special ones. Others have different talents... like tending the nursery and taking up offerings.

Not necessarily my *top* 10, but perhaps points that haven't been listed yet...

"It's your business to tithe to the church; what they do with it is their business"

"This is the way (formula) to get someone saved"

"God has put X as an authority over you, so you should submit to X"

"God only speaks through the Bible now"

"Do more; try harder"

"Only some special people can hear God"

"Jesus got you into the Kingdom, now it's your job (ie. do stuff) to stay in"

"If you remove controls, people will run riot"

"The Bible doesn't really say/mean that (e.g. Creation). Appeasing the secularists will make them like us better."

"The Bible doesn't really say/mean that (e.g. Creation)." As an excuse for when they can't get something working (e.g. healing)

From my catholic background:
1) My suffering was a gift from God
2) My suffering was to help other people to get to heaven if I offered it up (apparently Christ death wasn't enough)
3)My illnessess were for santification

I won't go to 10 but just look at my signature...

i thought of one to add to the list. it is be careful who you pray for or lay hands on because whatever is wrong with them could get on you.

That's bonkers. Where did they get that idea from in the Bible ? Who do they think took all our infirmities and sickness ?

1. You need more faith/ lots of faith to be healed or move in Healing.

2. Healings/ Miracles are rare.

3. Demons dont exist.
4. Healings dont happen in the USA/ Developed world.

5. Christians cant have demons/ be oppressed by the enemy.

6. You have to be anointed to heal the sick.

7. You have to be led to heal the sick.

8. God cant use you, because u have little faith or lots of sin in your life.

9. God cant use you unless you fast for 40 days or pray for hours daily.

10. Only superstars like the big name ministers we see on TV can heal the sick, not little old you.

Funny you mention that.

I've prayed with a mother for her child. We wrote something like "Be healed in Jesus' Name" on a post it note. Then we prayed for the child's healing. She took it home and told her child we had prayed, then she prayed with her child and received the healing.

Like Roger says, if you believe standing on your head will get you healed, then stand on your head.